The Robot and the Red Adept
by Scygnus Darkhawk
Summary: Ah, Part one of The Robot and the Red Adept. This is the Slayers charachters thrown into the world of Piers Anthony's "Apprentice Adept" series. It'll definitely be funny, with action, and maybe some romance.
1. Author's note

This is the Authors note chapter I'm putting in to explain the basis for this story. If you just want to figure it out as you read, skip this note; it might be considered boring. I wouldn't usually do this, but, unfortunately, most of you probably haven't read Piers Anthony's "Apprentice Adept" series, and since that's where this story takes place, you need to be informed of somewhat history and basis. First I'll explain Proton; the science half of the world.

Proton is the sci-fi half of the world. When Proton/Phaze started out as one world, it was lush and green; fresh for the picking. Luckily, before they could ruin the environment of Phaze, the two world were split. Proton wasn't so lucky; all the rainforests were cut down, water polluted, as well as the air. Everyone had to live in the domes, where there were various means of keeping the air breathable; not uncomfortable for them. Onto the culture lesson. A more or less fuedal system was set up; serfs own nothing, are nothing, while the super-rich citizens live off the profits of Protonite: THE fuel of the space age. Oh, the serfs didn't much mind; they had the right to leave the planet whenever they chose. Unless a citizen got angry and decided to shoot them before they had a chance to. Serfs were the human workers, doing everything that couldn't be automated, as well as whatever their employing citizen wanted them to; serfs had no rights other than termination of tenure. Tenure for a serf was twenty years, the payment one gram of Protonite; that single gram made them moderately rich elsewhere in the galaxy. The easiest way to tell a citizen from a serf? Easy; the citizen is wearing clothes. Honestly, serfs aren't allowed to wear clothes. Among citizens and serfs alike were those who live on Proton solely for the pleasure of The Game. The Game: almost every contest imaginable. Two people playing a grid of categories and eventually coming to a contest. You'll learn more about it in the fic. Of course, the Game Computer has changed recently; when you see the charachter I've placed as it, you'll know how.

Phaze is the fantasy half; dragons, werewolves, unicorns, vampires, demons, snow-demons, ogres, trolls, giants... you get the point. For the most part, races are the classic fantasy type. There's only two I think I need to say something about: vampires are more or less just like humans, and pretty nice folk. They have to drink blood to support their bat forms, which they get from domesticated animals raised for that very purpose. Trolls are the other; almost all trolls are very very nasty, typically eating whoever happens to anger them or just walk by while they're hungry. Their most defining trait is their hands; their hands mold hard, cold stone like wet clay, making them excellent burrowers, and though most don't develop the skill, excellent sculptors as well. As for magic; most everyone knows a spell to start a camp fire or repair a chip off a clay vase, but nothing besides very small spells. The adepts, now those are where the magic rests; there are ten most of the time, identified by color. The definite good adepts are Blue, Brown, and Red. The typical bad adepts are Purple, Yellow, White, Transculent, Black, Green, and Orange. Tan seems to change back and forth with each generation. Blue is the leader of the good adepts, as well as the strongest of all adepts, and almost always a top gamesman. Each adept does their magic in a different way, but I'll leave what ways secret; you'll have to figure it out as you read, since all will probably be mentioned by the end.

Now, a brief history of Proton/Phaze:

Somewhere over tree hundred years ago, the first settlers landed on Proton/Phaze; they found humans, and all the other races aforementioned. And a world ripe for the plucking. The Powers that Be(probably the adepts of the time, though the books never specify) didn't like that; they split Proton and Phaze, leaving on one side a world of science, with magic inoperative, on the other, a world with very much magic, but no science would work there. Not counting gravity and such, of course. It wasn't long before Proton had been defilied; the virgin Phaze was safe... or as safe as it could be. They were linked by a curtain, spanning both worlds; from the Proton side, you had to will youself through, from the Phaze, it took a spell. Mostly, there was no contact besides the occasional drifter. When things were that way, there were two of each person born on either world; one on each. You could only pass through the curtain if your double had died, or you were shipped onto Proton, so you weren't born there and didn't have a double. After a certain sequence of events, including the death of the Red Adept, the beginning of major action by the Blue, correction of an imbalance threatening to destroy both worlds, and a short bout where the worlds were joined, both were seperated, supposedly forever, no longer accesible through the curtain.

About twenty years later, Mach, the son of the Blue who stayed on proton, and Bane, the son of the Blue living on Phaze, found a link between the worlds once again. Naturally, this stirred up much trouble. A very very many things that I really don't have time to go over happened; the end result was both worlds merged into one again, both science and magic operative. But that didn't last very long either; soon, the Hectare, or BEMs(Bug Eyed Monsters) invaded, overtaking the planet by threat of orbital weaponry. The combined efforts of all the adepts, good and bad, besides Tan and Purple, along with the Magic Bomb that would destroy the planet, much effort by Flach, son of Mach, and Nepe, daughter of Bane, the world was turned from the sceince universe to the fantasy, where the Hectare had no orbital weaponry. Being an honorable race, the hectare accepted defeat and fit themselves into society as well as they could. This story begins perhaps twenty years or so later, when everything's pretty much settled in...

But as you know, when Lina is involved, NOTHING stays settled in. 


	2. A strange way to meet someone

Author's note: Don't own Slayers, don't own the world used here, don't own the world we live in, even though I should rule part of it under my evil master.

The Robot and the Red Adept

Part One: Meetings and Bearded Dragons

Zelgadis sighed. His outdated but accurate sensors had checked the area three times over and there was still no player that could possibly challenge his abilities. And he was beginning to draw stares. He was nude, no different from everyone else, save one citizen over in a game-booth, and of no abnormal stature; well muscled but not bulky, neither short nor tall. But his chrome skin was a marked difference from even the other machines. No matter that he was at least ten times the age of most, and had the experience to go with it. No matter that he had managed to become self-willed on his own, with equipment that was ridiculously outdated by the first of the known self-willed robots. No matter that he was among the top hundred gamesmen of the planet. No matter.

He had shown his experience, and received better equipment as far as a brain went, but by then he was owned by a citizen that wanted him kept as an 'antique.' So he was kept with the same equipment, though it was made of new parts by now, after the old was long worn away. But in all his years, not a single person had ever been glad he existed solely for himself, as a person. He didn't blame them; who could see past the chrome skin, metal hair, mechanical muscles unrestrained by more recent programming, and eyes that constantly spun with activity concealed in newer models. Not that he would be any different looking normal; he knew too much, had lived for too long. It frightened people to speak to someone who remembered the second settlers to Proton, over three hundred years ago.

In his self-absorbed brooding, he didn't notice the amulet-bedecked redhead sneaking up behind him; well, until she poked him anyway.

"Herm, tougher than I thought." She said with a small smile, obviously hoping to get a rise out of him, an attempt to put him off balance. Not going to work.

"Yes?" he asked curtly, turning around to face her. He took a good look at her, trying to match face and form to one of those in his database. Nothing. Odd. He attempted to deduce who she was from her appearance; the amulets, red hair, and red eyes triggered something, but his logic circuits didn't quite connect: they hadn't been connecting, actually, since just before she poked him. Nothing was physically wrong, no mistakes in the program, so what? She would be considered below average height, only appearing fourteen to a casual observer, but from her bearing and 'feel' of maturity, he guessed her somewhere between twenty and twenty-five. In the public eye, she would be considered midway through pretty, not having much mass in certain areas. The amount of amulets she wore couldn't have been paid for by the tenure of three serfs, so she must be a very favored serf or… what? Again, his logic circuits failed to fire. What was going on?

His mechanical logic failing, he let all the text-overlays and analysis windows disappear, and looked at her as another human would. Nearly all his circuits stopped firing for a moment, the equivalent of a human heart skipping a beat. The only ones that he consciously knew to be still running were thought and emotion; they said one thing in unison, barely defined in words by thought, but completed by the rush of emotion: she's beautiful. The public eye was blind, calling her midway through pretty.

The spell was broken when she turned around, breaking eye contact. He realized how they'd been staring at one another when his body reactivated itself; five minutes. The girl had turned attempting to hide a blush; not very effective, since the blush climbed right onto her back and down, almost onto her perfect… Zelgadis brought that train of thought to a screeching halt.

"Umm… yes? What… what was it you wanted?" Zelgadis managed to stutter out finally.

"Well," she said, having quickly composed herself while he was still trying at it, "You look like you want a game, and you're the only gamesman here that's on my level."

"Odd, you're not on any of the ladders." He replies suspiciously.

"Neither are you, Zelgadis Greywers." She returns.

"Well, if you know my name, then you must've planned this. I think that you think you can match me. What is your name?" he asks, still suspicious.

"Well, A: I don't think I can match you, I know I can, and B: my name is Lina." The name triggers alarm bells in his brain, but still no insight to her identity.

"I don't know… I'm in the top hundred amongst gamesmen, and I would hate to crush anyone's dreams…" Lina begins laughing at that, hands on her knees to keep from falling over. He gives her a puzzled frown.

"Top hundred?" she starts amusedly after her laughing fit finishes, "You're top twenty-five, easy, and top ten, I wouldn't doubt. I wouldn't doubt it if you could match grids with Blue himself."

"Well if your gross overestimation of my abilities, combined with your confidence in placing yourself on my perceived level along with Blue… it's not all boast; this will at least be interesting. Shall we then?" he holds out one chrome arm, deformity forgotten for the moment as she takes it, both following the arcane courtesies as they enter the game-booth.

Author's note: As with previous stories, it might be a little OOC, but again I have magic to blame it on. What magic, you say? Sore wa Himitsu Desu! 


	3. The Game is Afoot a very stinky foot

Author's note: Yay! I've got a reader! Before I forget again, standard disclaimers apply. In this episode: the game is decided and a new charachter is revealed! 

* * *

As Zelgadis steps onto the lit circle, he feels the slight rush of adrenaline substitute, raising his senses to a more alert status, washing away all thoughts save that of the Game; it is at this point, and only at this point, that he ever feels truly alive. Lina steps onto the other circle, closing her eyes for a moment as she basks in a similar feeling, taking a deep breath, causing Zel to forcibly remove his eyes once again, then opening them, now shining with a competitive light. They both look into the other's eyes at that moment, recognizing the competitive spirit within the other, acknowledging it, and challenging the other. They finally look down toward their consoles, expecting to see the usual primary grid.

But instead, nothing, until a familiar voice is heard, "So the chimera and the sorceress want to play, do they?" 

"Wha…?" Zelgadis and Lina say almost in unison. 

"Sore wa himitsu desu!" replies the purple haired holographic head. 

"Xellos…" Zelgadis starts in a warning tone. 

"I know, I know," beside the first, another head appears; Zel finds staring at his own head very odd. 

"Damn you Xellos! Stop screwing with my grids! I swear to you that I will refuse to play any game where you interfere in the very least!" the second head yells at Xellos. Chibi-Xellos cringes from it, waving his hands as if to fend off the angry Zelgadis. The real one begins to get the same look on his face as the holographic one. 

Lina laughs, "You're cute when you're angry." This immediately changes Zelgadis' expression from the beginnings of anger to extreme embarrassment; he can't turn the typical fifteen shades of red, but he felt like it. As it is, he scrunches his shoulders and lowers his head, same as anyone else would be to accompany a blush. This sent Xellos into fits of laughter while Lina just smiles triumphantly at the success of her comment in causing his anger to retract. 

"Can we get on with it?" Zel asks in an annoyed tone. 

"Yes master, yes master!" Xellos says imitating and projecting a certain hunchbacked minion from an old horror movie, just before fading out. 

"I wish he had a physical body, so I could beat it to a pulp." Zel comments wistfully, Lina nodding agreement. 

"I take it you know each other?" Lina asks in an I-already-know-the-answer-but-I-want-to-know-more tone; Zelgadis just grunts in reply, "At least you have final say," attempting to cheer him out of the grunting only state. 

Another grunt for answer, "Such a conversationalist!" She continues in an exaggeratedly cheerful voice, "Tell me, are you usually this dumb? …or were you just so struck by my beauty that your brain is suffering whiplash?" She smiles with obviously faked innocence when Zel started choking on the second questions, as it, to use an arcane idiom, hit the nail on the head. 

He clears his throat in a 'get on with it' manner, "Can we get on with it before Xellos pops back in?" A sneeze sounds above the consoles, and Zel glares at the air it had issued from as Lina smiles at the old joke. 

They finally get around to looking down at the primary grid. Zelgadis mentally grimaced; he'd gotten the letters, A: Naked, B: Tool, C: Machine, and D: Animal. She would choose from the numbers, 1: Physical, 2: Mental, 3: Chance and 4: Art, therefore setting the actual mode of competition. Zelgadis' analytical circuits kick into full gear as he considers all possible outcomes, factoring in the psychological information he had on his opponent. She might go for physical; they surely couldn't compare in that category, but she was hotheaded, and might feel the need to prove herself in an area where he would most likely defeat her. If he chose naked, that would pit them against each other in hand-to-hand combat, or a race of some kind, most likely; no contest. Tool wasn't any better; she might be a good swordswoman or get into a game that was all finesse, but unlikely if she were to choose physical; she would go for something requiring strength. Machine or animal would even it out, pending her unknown skills. If she chose mental? He would have a large advantage with his large memory banks that ran into before Proton/Phaze had been colonized. But he had already judged her as intelligent, if to no certain degree, so the mental category was a toss-up, whatever he chose. He wouldn't even consider chance; if she chose that, he wouldn't care who won anyways. Art? She would likely be at least fair at it, her natural human creativity most likely defeating him easily; he would be best to go with machine or animal there, since those particular cross-sections were almost all oddities. 

So he chose animal, seeing that as the best choice for a good, even competition. Her selection had already been made; Physical, as he had thought. The 1D box expanded to fill the screen, showing a new grid. Across the top, unlit again, are 1: Separate, 2: Interactive, 3: Combat and 4: Cooperative. And down the side are A: Earth, B: Air, C: Fire and D: H2O, lit. If she followed the same pattern as before, it would be combat, pitting them into fighting animals of some kind against each other. The surface didn't really count for anything at this point; he was good at most of the animal combat games, and she, as per usual, is at an unknown state of skill. He selected air at random; the 3B square filled the screen, showing the empty tertiary grid. Lina had received the first choice at random; Dragon Dueling appeared in the middle square. 

"How historic of you." Zelgadis remarks with a raised eyebrow. 

"Aye, but nay; I am no Sheen, and methinks… hopes… thou'rt no purple." She replies with a mock-serious Phaze inflection, then smiles and switches back to Proton speech, "Closer to Blue or Translucent, I'd say." 

"Surely thou flatter me, but not I, thee, when I say thy beauty surpasses that of the late Suchevvane in her youth." He fires back with the same inflection, smiling as she flushes at the extreme compliment, and… something else, amusement about something in the statement. Suchevvane was still considered the most beautiful woman to have ever existed, though now long dead; it was once said that if she walked by any male, and his head not be turned, then that head be blind. 

"You're a liar." Lina tells him, grinning now. 

"I must plead half-guilty; what is my punishment?" 

"Let's just go, shall we?" she asks, catching the innuendo of the double meaning, muttering something about his having an intelligent posterior. Zelgadis grins at his victory in the verbal fencing, and returns to the grid; after playing it out, they come back to the first choice: Dragon Dueling. They take the game-slips and leave the booth, heading for the transport to Hardome, since the closest battlefield was there. 

"Zelgadis… I have a condition for victory in this…" Lina says as the transport rockets out of the station; Zelgadis gives her a measuring glance, so she continues, "Next game, you play the grids to win, how 'bout it?" 

"I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about." Zelgadis replies, looking anywhere but towards her. 

"Playing dumb won't work twice." 

"So I wanted a game rather than a concession, what's the crime in that?" Zelgadis answers innocently. His answer is shortly followed by an impressively colorful tirade on sexism and size-ism. It receives applause and calls of encouragement from the women and a few of the shorter men; Zelgadis just sits there and blinks, shocked. 

"Besides," Lina says, in a mostly-normal voice, "I'm almost as strong as you are." This kept Zelgadis blinking until the transport stopped. 

"My apologies, but you just don't look strong, for any species…" Zelgadis explains, jogging to catch up with her as the door closes just behind him. 

"Maybe I was wrong; maybe you really are stupid." Lina says, not answering his not-quite-spoken question. 

"Sorry to have made you angry, but perhaps I can ameliorate it by returning one of your previous remarks… 'You're cute when you're angry' was it?" Lina's angry flush disappeared in another low-reaching blush. 

"Baka!" Lina elbows him in the stomach, proving her strength as Zelgadis feels the air leave his lungs; unfortunately, he was made of a stronger material. 

"Itaiii!" Lina gripped her elbow, waiting for the pain to leave. 

* * *

Another Bloody note: I thought Xellos and the GC of the later books had much in common... Next Time: Valgaav comes into the picture and a vampire appears! 


	4. Chit chat

"Tickets please." said the clerk in an obviously mechanical voice; this was just a dumb machine, since none with self-will would endure such a menial job. "Please recall your lockers and retrieve your clothes before you exit the dome." It droned as they deposited their tickets and walked into the airlock. 

"Voice print identification please." Again with the drone; Zel makes a 'ladies first' gesture, so Lina steps forward. 

"Lina, one-two-five." Something tries to connect in Zel's mind again; something about such a low number… he files it away for later reference. After Lina had taken out what she needed, Zelgadis stepped up. 

"Zelgadis Greywers, number requires direct input." He says, already pulling open his ear-panel and removing the transfer cable. 

"Big number?" Lina asks, already pulling on her pants. 

"Pi to the three-thousandth decimal." He replies as he removes the cable and began to remove his own attire. 

"I didn't know you were that low on the totem pole." Lina finishes tying on her headband; now dressed, she leans up against a wall to wait in a lazy/arrogant manner. 

"Nice outfit," he comments, while trying to get his foot past the hem of his pants without ripping them, "But isn't it a little overdone?" 

"At least it won't make me stand out like a stain on White." She replies with a death glare. He decides to let the debate over fashion drop, and finally buckles on his sword belt. Lina hits the door release and steps out, taking a deep breath before walking on toward the dragon stables. 

Zelgadis follows suit; it may have been foolish, but Phaze air always seemed cleaner, more pure. He could, and in fact, had, analyze both and find less than a .0001 difference, but still, it felt cleaner. 

"You just gonna stand there all day, or are we gonna actually get this duel started?" Lina says from ahead, beckoning; Zel quickly snaps out of it and moves to catch up. "I've been wondering," Lina starts, trying to fill the silence of the walk, "Why do you have two names?" 

"I was made back when that was the custom. I don't know why, but Xellos finds my name funny for some reason." 

"Funny, me too. Except he says 'Lina Inverse,' whoever that is." 

"He'll tell us eventually; he tells all, even if he does take his own sweet time about it… and what order you get it in." Lina snickers and Zel snorts. 

They finally reach the 'stables'… not really stables at all; most dragons were very violent and territorial, so small, enclosed spaces… let's just say that's not a good idea. It had taken a while to find the spot, but a river-cut canyon had eventually been selected; the intricate cave system carved into the walls made for well-spaced territories with plenty of room. As Lina and Zelgadis near the edge of the canyon, they hear a loud screech; both recognize it and cover their ears while crouching down for better footing. Just in time: a sudden gust of wind heralds the pink dragon that bursts over the ravine edge, closely followed by three males; a blue, a red, and a black. They are quickly out of range, still screeching as they move out of sight. 

"First mating flight, hmm…" Lina comments as they fade in the distance, "Prime stock too." 

"You breed?" Zelgadis asks, raising an eyebrow. 

"Naw, but I did raise one, and being amongst them so much, along with the dragon keeper's teachings, has taught me enough that I could." 

"You…?" Zel's question is cut short by a man coming up the stairs. 

"Did you see that?!" Valgaav shouts as he reaches the top of the stairs, headed their way, "Petunia's first mating flight! And the top three males! That'll be the best clutch I've ever had!" at the excitement in his voice, the two of them tried to run… but both are caught in a bear hug by the large but somewhat childish dragon keeper. His exuberance is not lost on them, but they restrain themselves to a smile. 

"You've known Val for a while then?" Zel finishes. 

"He's a friend of the family." She explains, somewhat sheepishly. 

"Miss Lina! Master Zelgadis! I knew you two would eventually run into each other." Valgaav says, his voice still brimming with excitement, "The best two riders I know! This will be one for the record books!" 

"Hey now, Val, don't give me that; you know there are at least fifteen or twenty…" 

"Riders you've never dueled before," Valgaav interrupts, "And I've seen you fly; the only ones that could challenge you seriously would either be my mother, Blue, or Miss Lina here." He finishes, smiling. The little firebrand beams with pride at the praise. A chibi-Zel appears over the head of the real one, beating its head up against the wall. 

"Let's just settle it on the field, shall we?" Zelgadis says gruffly, stiffly marching over to the cliff. Val just nods, still smiling, but Lina is trying not to laugh. Zel jumps off the cliff, uncaring about travel time for the other two; in only seconds he travels across the canyon and several stories down, landing like the metaphorical feather. Know he will need to calm himself before the match, and hearing his dragon's snores, Zelgadis turns around to watch the daily dance of the dragons. Every color of the rainbow assault his eyes; from every direction fly the beautiful creatures that rule this canyon. Playing, eating, arguing, courting, socializing; Zelgadis was always amazed at how alike to sentient beings they are. 

Eventually Valgaav can be seen through the dragonets playing ball overhead, but the girl is no where to be found. Now where could she…? He thinks. Immediately ruled out are the possibilities of her backing down or changing her mind; she definitely wants this match. She wants to make an entrance, he thinks with a sigh, but how is she…? 

His thought is interrupted by a gust of wind, knocking him down, almost as if to make room for the fiery dragon coming over the escarpment. The redhead on its back, laughing at his surprise, didn't help his dignity much. 

"How did you get down there so fast without me seeing you?" he asks, disgruntled, after the dragon has landed, while getting to his feet. 

"I turned into a little birdie and flew!" Lina replies, showing fangs cutely as she smiles. 

"Strange, I've never heard of any werebirds, and you don't have a horn on your forehead…" waitaminute, fangs!? "Well, that certainly explains a few things." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asks dangerously. 

"Nothing, nothing at all." He replies quickly, moving into the cave to retrieve his slumbering dragon. He hears a mutter behind him, something along the lines of: 'it'd better.' 

"Hey! Whiskers! Wake up!" Zelgadis whispers, hoping the girl outside will not hear. To no avail, it seems, if the near-cackle is any indication. One eye opens, illuminating the cave in front of it; it grunts, the meaning obvious: five more minutes please. 

"C'mon! You want that young upstart out there to think you're scared?" that got the old gray awake; he was up on his feet in one graceful motion, fire already beginning to lick out of his nostrils, "That's more like it!" Zel hopped up onto the dragons back, not needing a harness to stay on, and they both burst out of the cave, almost knocking the other pair off in their ascent. Whiskers' silver mane flaps in the wind, much like Zelgadis' own hair, as they soar over the ravine edge toward the dueling grounds, many of the dragons watching their eldest go. In mere seconds, a red streak approaches from behind, moving up beside them. 

"Watch where you're going next time!" Lina yells over the rush of wind. 

"Didn't see you considering my position when you popped over the cliff edge." Zel fires back. They both glare at the other for a second, then lean forward into their dragon's manes, urging them faster for an impromptu race. 

* * *

Author's note: still suffering through this? Sorry for the "chit-chat" chapter, but I wanted to put the rather long battle all by itself. Just in case you missed it, yes, Lina is part vampire. Next time: The Duel! and "She wouldn't! She would." 


	5. Finally to the duel! Is Lina nuts!

Author's note: Sorry for not putting this up for so long, even though I had it written. I had this whole HUGE plan for a chess game I created for them to try after this, but... you have absolutely NO IDEA how much work it takes to create a working chess variant. I just had to come up with something else, and the next chapter is almost finished... 

* * *

The dueling grounds here were unremarkable; just another part of the mountains, with nothing to mark it for the historical value it held. This is where the harpies had faced the vampires in the battle for the Book; the harpies' victory had been a major humiliation point for bats ever since. The magic that made the battle non-fatal also made it perfect for real, dangerous dragon dueling: when injured here, you would feel the pain, seem hurt, but in truth be unharmed; when the contest ended, all injuries would disappear. 

Zelgadis feels the magic settle over him as they enter the range of the spell. He looks over to Lina, nods, and digs his fingers into Whiskers' neck, touching the pressure points to direct him along the right edge of the field as Lina turns to the left. The roughly three-square-mile field is traversed quickly on dragon back; they pass each other at the edge opposite they entered, trading feints on the way by in simple ceremony. As they reach opposite sides of the field, a gong sounds; the beginning of the match. Zel turns Whiskers sharply to the left, toward the center of the field, the gray dragon smoothly banking and gaining speed for the first real pass. 

Across the field, the red speck quickly grows, also attempting to reach top speed. Their meeting lasts less than a second; Zel presses in a familiar pattern: Whiskers half folds his wings for a split second, dropping down and right, bringing his head up to shoot a burst of flame at the red's vulnerable belly. Lina's dragon easily dodges, simply rolling away from the flame; its maneuvers are exceptionally quick, Zel notes, but it can't gain altitude or speed as quickly as larger dragons. They circle out, watching the other's moves. Lina makes a move, turning in directly toward him; she tries to gain a bit of altitude at the last second, attempting to score on him directly. Just for spook value, Zel doesn't dodge, but lets the fire strike him directly; not a mark. Well, some ash, maybe, but no actual damage. 

Lina's eyes widen as she looks back at the silver-maned dragon on her tail, it rider unexpectedly unharmed. She curses herself for not remembering his tougher composition and tries to barrel roll out of his lock; no deal, he rolls right with her. The red is quickly losing ground, not having as much speed as the gray; the range-testing shots are singeing the hairs off her tail. Lina quickly applies pressure on several places; the red folds her wings entirely, dropping head-first toward the ground. The gray follows suit, gaining faster now, but no longer making test shots for fear of vision-loss and the too-close ground. Just before they would both strike the trees, the red flares out its wings to skim directly over them, Whiskers again following maneuvers; but the gray is caught off guard when Lina's dragon almost spins in place, gaining altitude enough to pass over him, sending down a burst he can't evade without crashing into the trees. Zel is still unharmed, but the dragon gets a long burn on the upper half of its right side; hardly crippling, but painful and distracting. 

_Oh, she's good._ Zel thinks, quickly directing Whiskers to pull up, gaining on the red, passing it. It takes a bird of prey position, waiting until he has a good position, then diving straight for Lina and her dragon at an almost ridiculous speed, blazing a path through the sky. She can't dodge quickly enough, and receives a burn matching the one she put out, but on the underside rather than the upper; a few inches over and it would have been a fatal strike to the gut. But now, Lina has the advantage; she waits while he dithers in gliding over the trees, where she can't strike, and pulls up, intending the same tactic. As expected, he begins to climb; at about the halfway point, she dives. Just before she gets down to him, he dives as well, but at the opposite angle, well out of reach; they both level out at the same altitude and begin circling again. 

This time, Zel makes the first move, turning quickly in, attempting to broadside her in the small area; she turns quickly enough to avoid that and take a shot at his left wing. Both miss, and they return to circling. 

_It's time to end this._ Zel thinks, pressing the combination; Whiskers' eyes narrow in anticipation. He turns in, another straight shot toward the center; she moves to meet him, as expected. Just before they reach maneuvering range, Whiskers half folds his wings and rolls, flaring them back out and effectively flying upside down; he takes a shot at her underside, catching her off guard; the fire streaks across her throat and stomach, fatally torching her neck and chest, almost punching a hole in the gut. He quickly turns back over, before he loses too much altitude; the other dragon drops down to his height, using the last of her strength to keep level with him. The dragon's redheaded rider is doing something quickly, a look of determination on her face. 

_What is she trying to do? I've won this._ Zel thinks, his thoughts whirring with possibilities, _untying her straps? Why? Oh no… she wouldn't._ Lina has all the straps undone, and now crouches on her quickly failing dragon's back, holding onto the loose harness. _She would._ Zel quickly tries to maneuver away, but it's too late; Lina catches him in a flying tackle, shoving him off the dragon and quickly toward the ground. They both plummet toward the earth. 

"Wheeeeeee!" Lina yells, acting like she's flying. Zel quickly grabs hold of her and turns them both upright; acting quickly, his legs begin to fold, changing their form. After a few seconds, his legs are no longer human, but a pair of hydraulic cylinders; they hit the ground hard, the hiss of air from his legs attesting to the force, cushioning their fall from liquefying to extremely painful. 

"Awww, Zel-kun! I didn't know you cared!" Lina says cutely, pinching him on the cheek; Zel seems very shocked about that, for some reason. A gong sounds as both dragons and Lina hit solid ground; the dragons' wounds very suddenly disappear like drying water. 

"Well, that was certainly an interesting match," says Xellos, who has appeared overhead, "But a tie game, care for another?" They look at each other for a moment, considering, then nod. "Alright then." He disappears. 

I wonder when she'll de-activate the anti-ID amulet? Zelgadis is going to freak. Perhaps I can help that out a little? If the game computer had a mouth at the moment, he would have been grinning. 

Author's note2: Like the action? I think it may have been a bit repetitive, but considering this IS the first time I've written an aerial dogfight, it's alright. Next time!: Lina is who!?!?! or Chessmasters can't play checkers. 


	6. A chess game WHO?

Part Two: Chess Games and Revelations

Author's note: Two chappies in one night! Yay! 

Lina grinned at the man across from her; this was too easy. He'd been near one of the most famous people around for almost an hour, and he knew nothing; he hadn't even noticed the stares! But now to finally beat him and get down to the point of our encounter, she thinks, turning her attention to the grid; numbers again. She quickly stabs her finger at 2: Mental. It takes a moment longer for Zelgadis to decide, and he selects B: Tool. The secondary grid appears, different this time: across the top is 5: Separate, 6: Interactive, 7: Puzzle, 8: Cooperative, down the side, lit, are E: Board, F: Cards, G: Paper, H: General. She squints in thought; he might go for anything in this round. So she picks E: Board at seeming random; he has already selected 6: Interactive. The tertiary grid appears, game choices out to the side: dozens of varieties of chess, checkers, and backgammon, speckled with various obscure types of board games. Zelgadis gets first choice on the flip of a coin, and moves to make a selection: Classical Chess. Lina drops in checkers, receiving a snort from the other console. 

"What's wrong with checkers?" She asks. 

"A child's game, not involving much strategy." Zel replies contemptuously. 

"So, you always lose at it, huh?" Lina snickers at him. 

"I didn't say that." 

"It's classic; chess masters can't play checkers. At least, I've never seen one." 

"Hmph…" is the only reply. The placement goes on, Zel picking complex chess variants while Lina tries to stuff the board with Parcheesi, Reversi, and other simple games. After the final row and column selection, they come back to Classic Chess. 

"Bah." Lina comments, half-ruefully. 

"You won't draw this out to a stalemate like the last game." Zel says in his cool, self-assured/arrogant tone. 

"Nope, I'll beat you!" 

"Queen Bishop's pawn to bishop's four." 

"Queen Bishop's pawn to bishop's three." 

"Heh. Queen Knight's pawn to knight's three." 

"Queen Knight's pawn to knight's four." 

"Copycat. Queen's bishop to queen's rook three." 

"Little minx. King's knight to king bishop three." 

"Metal boy. Queen's knight to queen bishop three." 

"Queen rook's pawn to queen rook four. Firebrand." 

"Queen's knight to knight one. Stony." 

"Queen knight's pawn to knight's five." Xellos sniggers at their insult trading, "Fruitcake." 

After that, the chess game speeds up, the two gaining and losing ground and pieces evenly for the most part, both intent on their game. 

"Shit head." Lina comments when he makes her choose which face-piece to lose. 

"Neither the first time, nor the last I will be called that while playing chess." He smirks. Lina moves her rook out of the way, but instead of taking the most obvious route, Zel moves his bishop to mid-board, effectively trapping many of her pieces. Lina just stares at the arrangement, Zel smirking again. The game goes on, more intense than before. Various murmured curses can be heard in a constant stream. For most of the match, Zel seemed to be winning, but somehow he ended up with nothing but his king while Lina still had a bishop and a pawn free to run and be converted at the other end of the board. 

"Okay, you've beaten me, I resign." He says, a bit piqued, and more than a little shocked. 

"Told you I'd beat you!" Lina grins. 

"Don't look now, but you have an audience." Xellos says quietly through the speakers. Naturally, they both look; some of the better chess players are clapping, standing off to the side a bit, and a red-clothed Citizen smiling at them. 

"Uh-oh… daddy's here; my cover is blown." Lina says, though there isn't much despair in her voice. She gets up from her stool and runs to hug the citizen. 

"Why don't you play like that when we play chess?" the Citizen asks ruefully. 

"Play like what? That is how I play chess." Lina says with mock-anger. 

"Errr… I think your friend is having some problems over there…" the citizen looks over at Zel, who is staring, both eyes twitching at random; the logic circuits in his brain are trying to connect, the tumblers of realization trying to fall into place; it is a physical strain on him, trying to connect the knowledge of who this girl is. 

"Oops… I forgot to de-activate this…" Lina picks a small amulet off of one of her wrists, and it glows for a second. All the circuits suddenly connect, all tumblers fall into place: that Citizen is the old Red Adept. That would make Lina… 

_Oh shit…_ Zel thinks, staring at the two wide-eyed, _What have I gotten myself into?_

Author's note: I don't think anyone will be suprised, but Zel sure is! Next time!: The worst case of 'meet the parents' ever? or Snooty, Snoozy, and Sylphiel? 


	7. Da Dinner party! you want us to do WHAT?

Author's note: Okay, don't own Slayers or The Apprentice Adept series. Piers Anthony owns the Apprentice Adept series and some very rich people in Japan own Slayers. Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out: had a dry-up of inspiration. Then I got a burst: this is a long chapter, and everything after "Pretty much, yes." was written in about an hour. And in a burst of silliness, I added a small Omake at the end. Enjoyed best with tartar sauce.

* * *

Zel nervously glanced at the other occupants of the table, obviously as new to the Red Demesnes as himself: two female citizens or heir-apparents and a blonde barbarian that was apparently the bodyguard of one. The first was short, wearing a white outfit not dissimilar to his own, sporting an incredibly cheerful smile that spoke of naïveté beneath a short but thick mass of purple hair. Best described as an innocent. The second, with her bodyguard, looked a bit more knowledgeable, but shy: extremely rare in a citizen, so she must be new. Her getup had a slightly regal quality, as did her bearing. Best described as shy. Her bodyguard, the blonde barbarian, wore enough armor to break a horse's legs and his sword could probably chop one in half, but his eyes had a half-glazed quality. Zel didn't want to judge too quickly, but on a guess he'd say that the man with the muscle bound movie star look didn't have three brain cells to rub together. The best description would be repetitive at this point. Oh how much the least of words can say. They all looked about as nervous as he felt. Fortunately, with Lina not in the room, his circuits were all in total order and nothing but cold interest showed on his face. 

An older woman, a wolf by the look of her, walked in and began setting table placements, "Dinner will be ready in just a minute, and as soon as 'Corn and Lina get done with their little chat, it will be served." The blonde barbarian and the purple-haired citizen make slurping sounds as they try not to drool on the table. Zel raises an eyebrow at them, which they either don't notice or ignore. "We've got another guest to wait on as well, but she should be here soon." Her voice is almost annoyingly cheerful at the moment, but Zel manages to keep from wincing. 

As the older woman, Sirelmoba, Zel remembers, leaves, the shy girl with the bodyguard speaks up, her voice surprisingly steady, "Well, since miss Lina's invited us all here, we should try to get to know each other a little bit first. My name is Sylphiel and I'm a less-than-wealthy citizen by birth. I'm, uh… not much of a gambler, you see. Gourry?" 

"Huh?" 

"Introduce yourself, Gourry." 

"Oh, okay." Yep, blonde barbarian to a tee, "I'm Gourry; current Champion of Armed Melee fighting, bodyguard serf to Sylphiel." Precisely three seconds after Gourry had stopped speaking, the purple haired Citizen stands and speaks. Zel had to re-define his definition of 'annoyingly cheerful'… and repair his ears. 

"Hi! My name is Amelia! My father's a Citizen! I met miss Lina one day when I was walking around outside picking flowers and a buncha goblins appeared and told me they wanted everything I had and my clothes too but miss Lina appeared and scared them all off with a big fireball and invited me to dinner tonight isn't miss Lina so cool?!" (A/N: yes, I know that's a run on sentence, and yes, it is intentional… try saying it all with one breath, in a very high pitched voice, in less than five seconds, and you have what Amelia just said.) The girl plops back down in the chair, desperately sucking air from her brief but wordy speech. Sylphiel looks at Zel. Zel looks back at her. 

"Could you introduce yourself?" She asks. 

"My name is Zelgadis. Everything else you need to know is easy to see." Zel answers in his usual cold tone. The other three shiver. At that moment, Sirelmoba enters the room again. She pauses, feeling the silence, then moves again, stopping behind a chair and gripping the back. 

"I hope you're all getting along well?" she asks, breaking the silence. 

"We were just getting to know each other." Sylphiel explains in her still sturdy voice, her eyes flashing to Zel for a moment. Her hint doesn't go unnoticed by Sirelmoba. Between that and the almost tangible dark clouds hovering over Zel, she can guess what happened. 

"Excuse Zelgadis for being a tad anti-social: he's never really had any friends before, and doesn't think attempting to make them is worth it." Sirelmoba explains, seemingly out of the blue. Four people stare at her: two curious, one shocked, and one with absolutely no idea why everyone's staring at her but just following along. 

"Does everyone in this family know everything about me?" Zel asks with a pained/annoyed expression. 

"Pretty much, yes." Comes the answer. Insert long silence. 

"Well, I hope all my guinea pi- uh, all of you are getting along?" Lina asks from the doorway, breaking the silence. 

"Yes dear, they're getting along just fine for people who just met each other. Well, relatively speaking anyway." Her mother explains, "And, as claimed by many a wise man and many a dumb man, everyone gets along better when there's food involved. Dinner is ready, if you and your father are done…?" she trails off her question. 

"Yep. Dad'll be here in a minute." Lina says, plopping down in the chair next to Amelia and across from Zel, who was sitting next to Sylphiel with Gourry on her other side. 

"Oh, I hope you made enough for Gourry; he has a large appetite." Sylphiel says over him at Sirelmoba. 

"Oh, yes. I did my homework on all of you, so I think you'll find the meal quite satisfactory." Zel noted that Gourry, Lina, and Amelia began drooling at the news of food, and gave them his almost-trademark eyebrow raise. After Sirelmoba leaves the room, there's no sound besides the dripping of drool until Citizen Red enters the room. 

"Well, what a lively crew we have here: two others with my daughter's bottomless pit of a stomach, if I'm not mistaken; one new Citizen, and one antique robot. Yes, quite a crew indeed." The Citizen rambles in the way of old men, sitting at the head of the table next to Lina and Zel, "An odd crew, but a good one nevertheless." 

"Don't rile them up, you old bat; they're just getting used to each other's company." Sirelmoba comments upon entering the room with four plates of food, "And Zelgadis, Sylphiel? If they reach for your plate, just stab them with a fork. And watch mine, too, until I get back with theirs will ya?" She sets one down in front of Red, Zel, Sylphiel, and one at the foot of the table, apparently her seat. 

"I was just making observations, Sirel." Red says stubbornly. 

"Like when you observed that Filia needed to learn to control her temper? Yeah, 'just' doesn't cover it." Sirel comments before moving back into the kitchen. Zel, with his head turned toward the kitchen, hears a squeak of pain. When he turns around to look, Gourry is holding a fork menacingly and Amelia is sucking on the webbing between her thumb and forefinger, growing teary-eyed. Sylphiel looks pityingly at Amelia while setting her silverware in the proper high-style positions. Zel just looks at his plate, noting that the food is about as plain as can be, while Sylphiel and Red's have higher-quality food that Citizens would usually get for themselves. Of course, Zel doesn't care, because he doesn't eat. But the apparent psychoanalysis done to determine what he would ask them to make for his meal… something not too taxing on them, and his simple tastes… (yes, robots have taste buds, albeit electronic ones…) it disturbed him that they could look at him that closely without him knowing. It disturbed him that they even knew he existed. 

The black thoughts are dispelled as someone else comes out of the kitchen: a large multi-purpose mechanical, holding three very LARGE trays of food and one of medium size with drinks. It deposits one in front of each of the three droolers, and sets the drinks right in the middle of the table, handing something to everyone. Zel takes a whiff of his and raises both eyebrows: coffee. Nothing of his functions required the dark but powerful liquid, and yet he drank it every day. Quality stuff, too, he noticed. The mechanical seems to grin at his expression, and he has an eerie sense that he's met this machine before, but is unable to place where, exactly. Things are suddenly more clear as the machine disappears, replaced in less than an instant by Sirel. Of course! How could he forget? Troubot/Sirelmoba, one of the four… three—some number that was hard to tell because of split personalities—children that journeyed to the poles to stop the Hectare invasion with the Magic Bomb. One of the stranger split-person mixes, on one side a werewolf bitch (not an insult… on Phaze, that's what they call female werewolves.) and on the other Troubot, a high class multi-purpose machine. 

Sirel sits, and the three droolers look at her with a pleading look; "Yes, you can eat now." Cue feeding frenzy. Zelgadis once again raises an eyebrow (stop that, or your face will stick that way!) at the voracious three. Sirel, Sylphiel, and Red eat more sedately while Zel picks at his food and sips coffee. There is silence… well, more of non-talking than silence, hearing the loud noises of smacking and tearing from the three human deep-space garbage disposals. Then Citizen Red takes it upon himself to begin the conversation. 

"It seems I must take it upon myself to begin the conversation." See? He thinks that way, "Miss Sylphiel." 

"Hmm?" she says, quickly swallowing a morsel of food. 

"I've heard you're having some financial trouble. Not much of a gambler?" 

"No sir." She answers with an embarrassed but cute blush. 

"There's a friend of the family who has a friend of the family who's very good at raising new accounts; legendary, in fact. You've heard of Mellon?" 

"Sir… I couldn't possibly afford… I wouldn't want to bother such an important…" Sylphiel stumbled, each excuse arguing to be the best. 

"Nonsense! The old boy will work for a percentage for a friend of the family, especially one that will give him free reign to work as he sees fit, with only minimal input and confirmations." 

"Th-thank you, sir." Sylphiel mumbles, still blushing and staring at her plate. 

"Not a problem, and considering the hell I think Lina is going to put you through, it's more of a sympathy gift." Red chuckles. 

"Come to think of it, we still haven't been informed of why it is we've been brought here." Zel says over the rim of his cup. At this, everyone but Red and Sirel stop eating and stare at Lina. Well, except Lina, of course: kind of hard to stare at yourself without a mirror. But she does stop eating, and stands, looking each of them in the eye. 

"I've brought you here for a very important reason. To do something that may keep our entire society from being destroyed. We are going to cease the consumption of Phazite." Absolute and total silences this time, Red, Sirel and Lina looking at the various versions of shock on each face. 

"And how do you propose to do the impossible?" Zel asks sarcastically. 

"You, and you, and you are going to learn magic." 

OMAKE! OMAKE! OMAKE! OMAKE!   
  
"Nonsense!" Heavy Italian accent "The old boy will work for a percentage for a friend of the family." 

Suddenly, a window breaks and a man in a trench coat and a Tommy gun drops through, "You dirty rat." Even heavier Italian accent, gun pointed at Lina, "You killed my brudda, so now I'm gonna kill you…"

"Fireball!" he screams as he sails out the window and down the mountain. Lina turns around to meet bug-eyes and sweatdrops all around, "What? Is there something on my face?"   
  
OMAKE! OMAKE! OMAKE! OMAKE!   
  
Author: Hope you liked it. Next time! How do you Teach a Robot and two Non-Adepts magic? or Lina Feels Pity for her Teachers. 


End file.
